How would you like to be more attractive? Now, when I say, “more attractive”,  I don’t really mean “good-looking” attractive. Because, let’s face it, there are lots of things that make someone attractive, beyond just their looks. Instead, I’m talking magnetic quality of attraction that naturally makes folks want to flock to you, desire to be in your presence, and hang on your every word. This is the kind of attraction great leaders exhibit, the kind of attraction that not only makes you more effective in life, but more importantly, makes you significantly more effective in business. Below you’ll learn five secrets every attractive person instinctively knows (but probably couldn’t articulate). Ready to dig in? Alright, here we go! First up, attractive people are more interested in listening to the other person than they are in hearing themselves speak. Have you ever dated somebody who talked about themselves the whole time?

“Me, me, me, me…me! But enough about me – what do YOU think of me?”

(I think there’s actually a country song that says something like, “I want to talk about me.”)

We are our absolute, number one favorite topic

And guess what? Your prospects are the same way. Thus, if you are more interested in getting to know them than you are in talking about yourself, you will instantly become more attractive. Unfortunately, especially in business, most people immediately “throw up” all over their prospects about their product, service, or opportunity. That turns people off! If you do that, it will instantly makes you unattractive. If you’ve never heard of Jay Abraham, you should definitely study some of his stuff. He’s a great marketer. Once, after a marketing event where he was a keynote speaker…

He sat dead tired at the bar

The last thing he wanted to do was to strike up conversations with strangers after a long day. As he was sitting there, a guy started talking to him. Jay thought to himself…

“Oh man, I don’t know if I can muster up the energy to carry on a conversation.”

So he just asked the guy a question…

“What do you do for a living?”

And then he just shut up and listened, genuinely interested in what the guy had to say. He didn’t talk about himself at all. When the guy finished answering, Jay would just ask another question. And the guy would go on for another ten minutes. After 45 minutes, Jay finally said…

“You know, I need to head up to my room and get some sleep, because I have another full day tomorrow.”

The guy said…

“I have met a lot of people in my travels, but you are one of the most interesting people I have ever met.”

Jay Abraham thought…

“What is he talking about? I didn’t say anything about myself at all.”

And then it dawned on him…

“I had this light bulb moment—that being interesting and being attractive is not about trying to prove how interesting you are; it’s about being interested in the other person.”

Next, attractive people are not needy, clingy, or desperate. We all know about needy, clingy, desperate people—you know, the ones who text you, and three seconds later text you again with…

“Why didn’t you text me back?”

Unfortunately, we see a lot of them in this business. These people are so addicted to having that one prospect or person say “yes.” That neediness, clinginess, and desperation makes them very unattractive. Nobody likes those people. To be more attractive…

You have to learn to “take or leave it” when it comes to asking for the business

That’s not to say that you should act flippant or not care about people. You should absolutely care about them. Instead, you need develop a little aloofness. You need to come from a posture of “divine indifference.”

“I need people for my business, but I don’t need this particular person for my business.”

When you adopt that kind of an attitude, you won’t come off as needy, clingy, or desperate to your prospects, which makes you more attractive. There’s a saying that goes something like this:

“He who cares the least holds the most power.”

It’s not about being flippant or uncaring, though. Rather it’s about being realistic.

“If this person doesn’t join, I know there are lots of other fish in the ocean. I’m not addicted to this one person’s decision. If they say ‘no,’ my world won’t end. My life will go on. I’m won’t weep and moan and follow up with them forever. I refuse to position myself as needy and clingy.”

Next up, and importantly, attractive people don’t operate with a hidden agenda. We probably all know somebody in our lives with a hidden agenda. Every time they do something nice for you, they expect reciprocation. They’re not doing the nice thing just because it’s nice. They’re doing it because they want – and expect – something in return. They might give you a gift, but they’re hoping you’ll post pictures and thank them on social media and say…

“Oh, you’re so wonderful. Thank you for this awesome present.”

…giving them public recognition so they look good.

Sincerely,

To Our Unlimited Success!


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